#it's so fucking ridiculous

[firenati0n]

several sentence sunday <3 :)

hello! Hope you all had a nice week 💛 thank you to thank you to @happiness-of-the-pursuit @anincompletelist @rockyroadkylers @getmehighonmagic @wordsofhoneydew [SO MANY TAGS ARENT WORKING so they're below the cut I am so sorry] for the tags :) :)

Instead of sharing a sweet snippet from city of angels au or a fun snippet from proposal au, I am going to share with you a snippet from an incredibly cursed crack fic i started. It was revealed to me in a nap dream. It's a Hannah Montana the movie au. Popstar!Henry and Cowboy!Alex. It is deeply unhinged. See for yourself. I am so sorry. I promise i am also writing serious good works.

Henry never thought he’d become a global pop superstar. Millions of people screaming his name, hundreds of bras thrown on stage, so many records sold. A face full of glitter and a heart full of dreams. But no one really knows Henry. Not in a way that matters. Herny Mountana belongs to the fans. Henry Fox has to belong to himself, or else he'll vanish. Henry Fox loves country music. He loves open air, blue skies, moonshine. Herny Mountana loves bleach blonde wigs, sparkly cheekbones, jumpsuits, and heeled boots.  They couldn’t be more different. But he knows the price he has to pay. The price he pays every day for fame, for fans, for his goals.  No time to ruminate. He has a concert to play. 

yes his name is herny mountana. no it is not a typo. yes his disguise is literally just the fuck ass rwrb movie wig. yes he whips it off dramatically in the Big Reveal only to show the exact same hair.

xoxo roop

+ tags below the cut <3 and open tag as always :)

@ninzied @dumbpeachjuice @saturntheday  @inexplicablymine  @sherryvalli  @littlemisskittentoes  @bigassbowlingballhead @heybuddy-drabbles  @priincebutt  @theprinceandagcd  @tintagel-or-cockleshells  @cricketnationrise  @tailsbeth-writes  @lizzie-bennetdarcy  @myheartalivewrites  @onward--upward  @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex  @14carrotghoul  @rmd-writes  @anchoredarchangel  @gay-flyboys   @cultofsappho @largepeachicedtea @gayrootvegetable @ships-to-sail @orchidscript @cha-melodius @kiwiana-writes @suseagull04 @sparklepocalypse @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @junebugclaremontdiaz @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @welcometololaland @magicandarchery @onthewaytosomewhere @whimsymanaged

[raddagher]

Idgaf if you don't want to write essays for school. I don't care if you don't want to write corporate emails yourself. I don't care if you can't draw well, I don't care if you can't write well, I don't care if you just really really want to talk to your favorite fictional character but don't want to RP with a real person because you have social anxiety or whatever

If you're still regularly using generative ai, chatgpt or midjourney or character.ai or literally whatever the fuck, im personally blaming you when my utility prices start going up.

[jamierthanyou]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[sketchytea]

trying to get used to drawing the most sculpted elf known to man

[kyriathanatos]

hey, you guys wanna see something completely fucked up?

why the FUCK do these match so well. i didnt edit SHIT.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Somebody rescue Tim. He's seen too much.

You do NOT have permission to repost my art.

Meme reference under cut:

[bookwyrminspiration]

If I knew how to draw it would be over for you hoes <- is an artist

[araneapeixes]

silly comic idea I've been chipping away at :) welcome tomy shadowheart poly shipping propaganda show

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Thrift store ahegao t shirt lookin-ass

I only just realized how this looks now that they're all compiled here on a tumblr post....what. who drew these🧍🏻‍♀️

This is from something on my patreon. But dang it, these Ford expressions are too good to not share as a preview.

[iceinherheart-kissonherlips]

for years we'd thought that Gaiman is just a cool good guy who's on tumblr to keep in touch with his fans and help them, while in fact he very well could've used this place to look for new victims

[mothcpu]

thanatos

[raineyraven]

"average viking gets struck by lightning once" factoid actually just statistical error. average viking is never struck by lightning. Snotlout Jorgenson, who is hated by thor and has been struck by lightning fifteen times, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

[benevolenterrancy]

I'm on chpt20 and I want to study SQQ like a bug. My man is flushed, hair down, robes literally falling off his shoulders, LBH on his lap playing with his hair and kissing him... and he finally cottons on to the fact that maybe this isn't how you have a platonic and important discussion. Enforces it for all of five seconds at which point LBH starts massaging his waist and SQQ is back to being like "yeah this is fine and normal". Amazing. Can't believe he insults the IQ of SQH's characters.

[derangedsynthpop]

"time to put the screen away"

"lights out evan"

"you already had your five more minutes"

OKAY DADDY

[spaceistheplaceart]

based on a dumb joke a friend and I made about layton's gender presentation